Fords and Trailers

DISCLAIMER: If your name is Bob and you drive a rusty 1977 Ford, or if your name is Sam and you drive a 2007 BMW, I’m not talking about you on purpose. This article is completely fictional.

Success is having an old rusty Ford and a living in a run-down trailer park on the wrong side of the tracks.

Picture one hypothetical man named Bob. He has a rusty 1977 Ford that hasn't run on all four cylinders since 1998. He lives in a trailer with mildew stains in the ceiling (where there still is a ceiling) and one side window that isn't broken yet.

Now consider another hypothetical man, Sam. He drives a customized 2007 BMW convertible roadster, since he's got connections. He lives on a fancy acreage that includes a mini golf course and is bordered by a serene lake on three sides. His house was estimated to be worth $1.5 million last year, but that was before the renovation.

Who is more successful, Bob or Sam? Obviously Bob.

Why is Bob more successful? Consider his automotive success:

1. Bob knows how to handle roadside repairs when his car is broken down 17 miles from nowhere, and is in really good shape from walking those 17 miles to buy a gallon of oil. Sam doesn't even know what a lug nut is, hasn't walked for more than five minutes at a time in his life, and is scheduled for his third bypass surgery on Thursday.
2. Bob is a friend of mechanics everywhere he goes. Everyone hates Sam because they are so jealous of his car.
3. Bob knows how to patch a radiator with duct tape, and is an expert with JB Weld. Sam had to get Rick from BMW to open his hood for him.
4. Bob doesn't have to worry about the fact that his car doesn't lock, and starts it with a screwdriver. Sam worries constantly about his car, even though he never leaves his car unattended, and his alarm system can be clearly heard 2.375 miles away on a calm day.
5. Sam is more successful than Bob in one way though, he's better at receiving speeding tickets gracefully.

Now consider Bob’s housing success.

1. Bob can spill anything from Coke to chocolate melt on his floor and not worry about it. He never bought a vacuum, since his dog licks everything up. He finds that dog-licked spills make cool designs in the carpet. Sam can’t even spill water in his house, since it might find an unsealed crack in the hardwood floor. He can’t even think of getting a pet, since it might scratch the mahogany baseboards.
2. Bob didn’t lose any sleep over the tornado that came through town, since his windows were already boarded over, and he only had three-and-a-half shingles to lose. Sam worries every time he hears about a forest fire within 75 miles of his property, since local building codes won’t let him dig a 100 yard wide moat across the side of his property that isn’t bordered by the lake.
3. Bob doesn’t worry about security, because nobody thinks there could be anything valuable in his house. Even though Sam hires five experienced security guards, he worries that someone could break into his house if they parachuted on to it, since that crazy building code doesn’t allow roof-mounted flak guns. There was an issue about killing some endangered bird.

Overall, Bob has no worries, and is prepared for everything from spills to roadside breakdowns to tornadoes. He is rarely caught off guard, since chance favors his prepared mind. Sam isn’t prepared to face the fifty percent chance that he will die of a heart attack within five years, and worries constantly.

While this scenario was mildly exaggerated, I hope you can clearly see how people with rusty fords and boarded up trailers are more successful than those with next year’s most expensive car and a fancy mansion on the lake. So why don’t you give all your fancy cars and houses so you can learn true success? I’ll suffer through Sam’s lack of success for you.